When I first heard this, I remembering talking to myself , ” There is no art in arguing. Besides, you’re just too pissed to follow a certain chain of convenient steps.” I was wrong. Art is everything and in everything, there is art. It all lies under what you really aim for throughout and after the argument. Arguing is no battle, it is just two or more individuals trying to make their point of view or belief more clear for the other/s. Perhaps sometimes in a heated way. However, there are times that conversations become verbal volcanos and before things get even worse ( you know, yelling and blaming phase…) , if you’re good at monitoring the signs, you may guess the time of the eruption and sneak away.
But how good are we at displaying our understanding of “art” during an argument ? Well, we tend to fall into the mistake of doing at least one of the followings.
- Blaming the other person,
- Justifying our action, our thought raising our voice,
- Twisting the subject and prioritising our side of the story,
- Lecturing about how the other person should act and talk,
- Taking things way too personal,
- Avoiding compromising and finding a solution,
- Approaching the whole argument with ” I will be the winner!” attitude.
So, where’s the art in arguing ? Well, if you’ve been reading to hear something you’ve not heard before, I’m sorry. I’m sorry because there is no such thing. There is no such mystical secret or an extraordinary spell. To me, the art in arguing is simply a moment. It’s just an instant and a state of mind when you get to comprehend that it is another kind of communication. While experiencing it, make sure it does not ruin, but build a whole new path. So, as quite normal as it is to argue, what really matters is, we would not really mind the other person and his/her side at all in the first place, if we would not care about that very person, would we ? And a little reminder for you, sometimes it is better to maintain your silence and listen.
At the end of the day, we are who we are. At the end of the day, love is all there is.
In case you want to know more about your arguing style, give it a try 🙂 There is actually two fun articles I’d suggest you read, click on this and learn why we people feel the need to argue, what kind of reasons we have and most of all, is there hope where there is an argument ? The other article has a more technological aspect in terms of arguing. When we are on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, we do come across such pages where people are having arguments so this article try to tell us why. So, why do we argue online ? “People argue passionately. They argue creatively. They argue compulsively. There are misunderstandings and lapses of humour. Minor differences of opinion spiral into incivility – and, to be fair, pleasant arguments often stay pleasant….” says Patrick Freyne
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